(Repeat.. check out the president stuff.)
MRI Madness
Today was my second MRI in two weeks. The first I would compare to medieval torture, the second I would compare to waterboarding. A lovely young lady, who said she remembered me from when she worked in Westminster, told me that I would be placed into the pizza machine for 25 minutes and then be pulled out, checked to see if I was "done" and have something inserted into my arm. Last week, the insertion took place before the MRI. I hope they know what they are doing, because they certainly do not know how to tell time.
Miss MRI said that I would be pulled out after 25 minutes, so I forced myself to count to 1500, using my fingers as place-keepers and mimicking the ticking of a clock. Now, this is extremely hard to do when you are in the middle of this monster machine that keeps clanking and chugging and banging. It's a good thing they give you ear plugs.
Anyway, 1500 seconds went by and I was still being banged and vibrated. Also, I had to pee. I forced myself to not press the panic button... and endured hell for another 20 or so minutes. When they pulled me out, and after I vociferously complained, they said that I should calm down and the rest of the ordeal would only take 15 minutes... they promised. So, I gave in and went back into the Witch's Oven. I counted again, and when I reached 900, miraculously, I was pulled out, as promised.
I asked Miss MRI if she would ever put her grandfather through this ordeal. She said: "No!"
This creature is an "open MRI" I wonder what the regular MRI is like.
While I was getting ready to take my turn, I noticed a blond guy sitting in the small waiting room, and I heard what an official man was telling him. Incidentally, I would guess that this guy is one of the Ravens. He was about 6' 9" tall and must have weighed 300, but all muscle. The official guy must have been his trainer, because he told him that, unfortunately, he was too tall and big for the machine and they would have to find a bigger MRI somewhere. (Now, my waist is around 42" and a device was placed on my stomach that was the biggest they had, and it pressed down and made it an effort to breathe at times. So, I'm sure that that device would never cover the waist area of this giant man. I sure would not want to get a guy like that mad at me... although I do know the defensive method "known only to the emperor" and might be able to cut him down in size. ... Dream on, Joe!)
I was also worried about an obese lady who came in on a motorized scooter. I could hear Miss MRI ask her if she could walk..."No"... could she stand up by herself..."No"... I suspect that she had to be lifted up and placed on the monster's gurney. She obviously also had a very large waist. I wonder how that got handled. Man, I would not want to have a job in this place.
After my ordeal (cry baby! want some cheese with your whine?).. I almost got into two accidents, and a couple of cars blasted me with their horns. Could it be because I hadn't eaten and my MRI session had screwed my brain up.. so, I hurried to the nearest McDonald's and got a sloppy Big Mac.. just like last week, only this time the clerk gave me 4 creams for my coffee and 4 Splendas. Once I got all that junk food in my body, my brain cleared up.. at least enough so that I only got one HONK on the way home, and no near misses. I think that if I ever have to have that torture again, I will ask one of my kids to take me in their car.
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Change the subject, Joe!
Presidents
I think I mentioned that John Quincy Adams liked to take daily swims in the Potomac. He did that in the nude; however, another President did so as well.... yes, it's that old Rough Rider, Teddy Roosevelt. This is according to Thomas Flagel, who wrote "The History Buff's Guide to the Presidents.
Flagel also mentions two other Presidents who swam in the nude...but indoors.. in the White House Pool. They were JFK and LBJ. FDR had the first White House pool built so that he could soothe his aching polio-ridden body. Richard Nixon had it covered over so that he would have more room for the Press Corps. Gerald Ford had an in-ground one built. He was probably our most athletic President.
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