Snow; Dirt; Prayer; Mississippi; Aging; Song Titles

It's snowing!  Looks like a buzzard! or a blizzard... whatever you would like.  And it is cold.  Winter is back.

Dirt Bag Guy

Chuck Shepherd writes in the Funny Times about a company out of Cambridge, Massachusetts, that believes that we take too many showers and baths.  This cleanliness stuff takes the good bacteria off of our skin.  So, the company sells "Mother Dirt" spray to add it back on.   The CEO says that he has not taken a shower in over 12 years.  He sprays his odorless bacteria mist a couple of times a day.  Soon, it will be marketed in shampoo form.

Prayer Heals Everything

Chuck Shepherd also writes about the mayor of Jackson, Mississippi, whose pothole budget is inadequate.  To get around the shortfall, the mayor asks his constituents to "pray our potholes away." He can ask people to pray, because besides being the mayor, he is also the pastor of the Relevant Empowerment Church.

When I was stationed in Biloxi, Mississippi for six months, several of my barracks-mates would travel to Jackson on weekends.  They claim that the folks in Jackson were so dumb that they thought my barracks-mates were war heroes and would treat them to food and lodging.  I don't know if what they said was true, but they sure did spend a lot of time in Jackson (and probably a lot of money).


Aging 1

Bill Engelhardt, Eternal President of the HCFA/CMS alumni association, writes their periodic newsletter.  As a sometimes member, I want to honor Bill by writing his Thoughts on Aging;

o  The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.  (How true!)

o  You're getting older when you are sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started.

o   You're getting older when  you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and  you didn't do anything the night before.

o   It's hard to be nostalgic when  you can't remember anything.

o   Last will and testament:  Being of sound mind, I spent all my money.  (Hmmmmm!)

Aging 2

John Koziol wrote about some artists from the 60's who have revised their hits to bring them up to date:

o   Ringo Starr:  I Get by with a Little Help from Depends

o   Johnny Nash:  I Can't See Clearly Now\

o   Helen Reddy:  I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore

o   Willie Nelson:  On the Commode Again


Aging 3

Question:  Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer:     They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question:   How many days in a week?
Answer:     Sundays

Question:   When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer:      Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

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Enough... I have to go take a nap.
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