Another beautiful Spring day... sunny and 75 degrees. Meanwhile, Denver, Colorado has shut down its plane flights because of the snow. I think that my granddaughter, Kaitlin, was planning on flying in this weekend. I'm sure she won't be able to.
I don't have much time today, so I'll try to be quick with my fingers.
Pilgrims Pride
In today's New York Times, in the Relationships Section, a gentleman getting married listed as his background: Direct descendant of William Bradford, Governor of the Plymouth Colony.
That's nice... isn't there some part of the song "America" that says "for Pilgrims Pride" or is it "for Patriots Pride?" Anyway, I have a subscription to the Mayflower Society magazine and have been toying with the idea of joining for some time. As I've mentioned before, I (little old me) am a direct descendant of William Bradford, as well as 10 other Pilgrims. Wow! La Di Da!
Some people spend lots of time and money trying to find a link to the Pilgrims. We Vaughan's can site a direct line quite easily, as anyone can see who has access to our trees on Ancestry.com. Also, as I have mentioned before, my mother served as housekeeper for a professional couple for several years. That couple spent oodles of money tracing a nebulous family line, trying to get one Mayflower connection, while their housekeeper was related to a bunch of them. I wonder if they knew that. I suspect that their snobbism would not let them believe it anyway.
Gay Pride
The New York Times Relationships Section has for a long time listed gay marriages and has shown pictures of the "gay" couples along with the pictures of the "straight" couples. I wonder how that would go over in Alabama or Mississippi.
Transgender Pride
My son has set up a family vacation at a North Carolina beach. I wonder if we have to have our birth certificates with us if we have to use restaurant bathrooms. How the hell is North Carolina going to enforce such a stupid law?
Stupid Criminals
Chuck Shepherd writes in the Funny Times about two bright lights.
Joe P., age 61, left the PNC bank in Okeechobee, Florida, empty handed despite having passed the teller a note demanding "a sack full of cash." However, he had forgotten to bring a sack with him, and the teller didn't have one, so he got discouraged and left without a cent.
Joe B., age 21, of Clarkston, Washington, a potential terrorist, was caught by police when he inadvertently called attention to himself by ordering his bomb components under the name of Oklahoma City bomber, Timothy McVeigh.
Stupid Police
Chuck also writes about some of "our finest."
The Erie, New York jail suspended two prison guards with long work records for fighting over a bag of potato chips. Luckily, an inmate was able to separate them before they killed each other.
The New York Police Department Sargeants Benevolent Association got mad when corruption charges were brought against some of their members for "fixing" traffic tickets for celebrities. The Association said that such fixes are not corruption, but merely "courteous gestures."
Enema Bandits
This is unreal, but Chuck Shepherd says it's true.
A middle-aged man who had just had intestinal surgery, reported to police that a woman entered his home, had him lie face down on a bed, and then administered an enema.. He assumed that his doctor had sent her, but the doctor said he had no idea who the woman could be.
Also, in the 1970's in Illinois, a guy named Michael Kenyon operated similarly as the "Illinois Enema Bandit." (I'll be looking this one up.) Supposedly, this inspired Baltimore's own Frank Zappa to write the "Illinois Enema Bandit Blues."
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enough already!
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