The household cleaning lady named Dinah gave us a wonderful two hours of vacuuming, washing, dusting, scrubbing, etc. She even took away ten years of dust from on our bedroom overhead fan. She also filled up two vacuum containers with cat hair! Maybe my allergies will not be so bad for a while.
A Melange of Dumb Stuff
Ohio Education
A little while ago, the Week Magazine reported that an Ohio Kindergarten student was suspended for coming to school with a Mohawk haircut. The superintendent says that he had violated the school's grooming rules and must shave off his Mohawk before returning to school. (Better Bald Than Bold!)
They also reported that an Ohio Middle School is requiring all students to get drug tested before they can participate in extracurricular activities. (Sounds like Ohio educators are smoking too much pot.)
I'll have to seek my brother's comments on these cases. He has been an Ohio resident for many years and taught school there himself. My brother, Joe, is a very intelligent guy and does not suffer idiots lightly.
Moo Goo Gai What?
The Week Magazine also advised us that the Red Flower Chinese Restaurant in Williamsburg, Kentucky was shut down after patrons found out they were eating road kill. When confronted, the restaurant owner said that he didn't know that was illegal. (Now, I will always wonder what I am eating that tastes so good. I've mentioned that I did eat horse meat in Europe, when it was ersatz Wiener Schnitzel. Yes, and that was good too.)
New Words
Phil Proctor writes in the Funny News about new words coming into usage in 2016. (I May have mentioned a couple of them before, but they are good enough to repeat.)
o flabbergasted - appalled over how much weight you have gained.
o oyster - a person who sprinkles his conversations with Yiddishisms.
o circumvent - an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
o reintarnation - coming back to life as a hillbilly.
o ignoranus - a person who's both stupid and an asshole.
Blind leading the Blind?
I read somewhere that a guide dog has been obtained for a British guide dog that has gone blind.
Mysterious Notes
Can you help me decipher these notes that I found the other day? They were marked "for my blog," but I can't remember what they were related to.
o Gilbert Godfrey spelling AFLAC.
o Somali pirates are willing to give a big percentage discount for hostages.
o Whales name babies, sperm whales.
o Monkey out of bra.
o If no football season, what will redblooded American men do? Your tailgate is closed.
How about a little Wit and Wisdom from Archie Bunker? You remember Archie, right?
(He did look a lot like Jiggs.)
Archie: You got a cousin on the police force? Lionel, I didn't know that.
Lionel: Yeah, well, he's the white sheep of our family.
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Edith: The other day I came across our copy of Glenn Miller's "Moonlight Serenade." You remember how we used to dance to that. Remember how I used to snuggle up against your cheek.
Archie: Oh c'mon. Willya act your age? Even Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers don't dance together no more.
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Archie: I don't know what the world's coming to. It's a dog eat dog out there. Some nut decides to throw himself in front of a subway train and ties it up for thirty minutes. He couldn't have picked the middle of the day. He had to pick the rush hour.
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Thank you, Norman Lear!
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