Sam Kaufman was a friend who decided to join Toastmasters at the age of 80. With the help of his son, Alan Kaufman, he was able to become the oldest DTM (Distinguished Toastmaster) in the U.S.
Sam had some sayings that I liked, and some jokes.
Sam sez: "Buying insurance keeps people poor, so they can die rich."
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Sam's Joke Number 1: A "fashion plate" kind of guy died and his friend sent for a minister to say something at the funeral. The minister asked: "I don't know what to do... what religion was he anyway?"
The friend said, "He was an atheist."
The Minister said: "That's so sad. All dressed up and no place to go."
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Sam's Joke Number 2: A guy with a lot of contacts had an answering machine set up in his car. He had this message plugged into the machine:
"Hi, I'm at home right now and can't come to the phone, but the next time I go for a drive I'll give you a call."
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Sam's Joke Number 3: A guy applied for a job at a haberdashery. The owner wanted to make sure the guy was a good salesman. He told him: "See that orange plaid suit hanging over there? If you can sell somebody that ugly thing, I will definitely hire you."
The next day, the boss sees that the suit has been sold and immediately hires the salesman. Curious, he asked: "Did you have any trouble with the customer?"
The salesman responded: "Not really, but his seeing eye dog gave me a fit."
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Sam sez: "A will is a dead giveaway."
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Sam sez: "A lawyer was doing so well, he bought his own ambulance."
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