Mr. Mellinger, Movie Star
I met Bert Mellinger when I became a Programmer/Analyst at the Social Security Administration in Woodlawn, Maryland. Bert had come from one of the Payment Centers to help centralize the payment of Social Security checks. I liked Bert.
Bert was a little guy... barely 5 foot nothing... but a good dresser. He also had a very bad stutter. This meant that he would get teased a lot.. but it didn't diminish his analysis prowess.
We worked together for a few years and Bert was involved in some of the strange (childish?) activity that I set up in an attempt to relieve the tension of short deadlines and dumb service requests. For instance, he was a member of my Niemand Associates, my Red Tie Club, and the Wow Club.
Mild-mannered semi perverts like Bert liked the Wow Club, because of its racy material that was passed around to members. One of the items was an advertisement somewhat like this: "Send us $5 and we will let you know about 50 dealers who pass out free pictures of scantily clad ladies." Bert hurriedly mailed off the five bucks. After a few weeks, he received a letter in the mail with the names of those 50 dealers, and the following notice:
"Send us $100. and we will forward to you the addresses to go with the names."
Gotcha, Bert!
Bert was related to the famous Hollywood lingerie salesman also named "Mellinger." He often complained that they didn't want to correspond with him. But Bert showed them!
Bert retired in his 50's, and settled down in Florida. One day, as he was walking along a boardwalk, he noticed a new ad on a bulletin board. A Hollywood movie firm was looking for a character actor. Bert immediately called the number shown and had an interview. He was exactly what they had been looking for. And, guess what! they didn't care if he stuttered because he was needed for non-speaking parts.
Bert made a deal with the studio and got himself a manager. He became "Mister Mellinger," one of
the most sought after character actors in Hollywood, California.
One day in 1986, I got a telephone call from Bert, in which he told me about his new movie career and gave me instructions on where to look for him. Check out the bar scene in Porky's. I did, yes I did watch that stupid film and looked for Bert at the bar. Nope. I didn't see him. Burt called me to ask if I had seen him. I told him "no." So, he told me to watch it again very carefully because he is in the bar scene.
I watched that damn bomb over again, and guess what... in one bar scene Bert's face filled the screen for a few seconds. After that, I saw him over and over ... he was a fixture just like those characters in "Cheers!" Damned if Bert was not a movie star!
Bert sent me the following information about his career:
Movies:
Funhouse
Apocalypse Now
Porkys
Porkys II
The Island (he was the old old man)
Scarface
Absence of Malice
Harry and Son
Superfuzz (not a U.S. film)
Making Mr. Right (a speaking part!!)
Television
Miami Vice episode.
When I retired in 1995, my co-workers tried to get in touch with Bert so he could attend my retirement luncheon. But they had no luck. Instead, they made up a dummy "Bert" and propped him up next to me to share the fun.
I Bert were still alive, he would probably be in his late 90's. I need to do some Internet searching to see if he is still with us.
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